The truth of her lesson struck me one day when I was standing in the bread aisle at the grocery store. I was trying to choose between the soft, white sandwich bread or the brown version my husband preferred for digestive health. That was long before the whole-grain craze of our day, so I reached for the white. That is when I noticed the short lady in her dark coat and raggedy head scarf.
She didn't acknowledge me, or even glance my way. Even so, I recognized her as a rather eccentric neighbor of my parents. So, I said, "hello," just as my mother had always taught me to do.
The neighbor looked up in surprise. Then she looked around to see who I was talking to. Then she narrowed her eyes, and nodded. I thought she didn't recognize me as a grown-up, so I mentioned my maiden name. "Oh, I know who you are," she said. "I'm just surprised you spoke to me."
She studied me for a minute and I couldn't think what to say. "I guess you are just like your mother," the neighbor lady said. I wasn't sure how to take that, so I was glad when she kept talking. "People think I don't know what they say about me. But I'm not dumb. I know I don't look like those ladies on the magazine covers. I know I'm not exactly like other people."
This was true, but I didn't want to admit it, so I just waited for her to go on.
"I know people laugh at me," she said. "and talk about me. But, not your mother. She always spoke to me no matter where she saw me. Always. She always spoke. And I guess you're just like her."
She smiled then, and I melted.
It was the greatest compliment I've received in my whole life, and I strive every day to live up to it. My mother has an amazing ability to see the best in every person and to expect the best response from them. My children say Grandma probably thinks Osama bin Laden just had a rough childhood. That was her explanation for every bully we ever met in school. Come to think of it, she is probably right.
That day in the grocery store, I was so grateful for a mother knew how to be nice. And I'm determined to do better tomorrow.
Oh, I feel so sorry you had a grumpy Monday. I bet tomorrow really will be better, and this is such a lovely story. I remember saying to you once that it was so obvious I was your daughter because of how alike we were (I wasn't really talking about the nice thing though). And you said, "Or maybe God made you my daughter because we're so much alike. I'm sure that's the way here too.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful picture your story paints. I had a TERRIBLY grumpy Monday, and actually said it was only by God's grace that I didn't physically harm someone yesterday. Now I'M terribly ashamed...and have something to strive towards.
ReplyDeleteNow that you mention it, I have never seen you or your mom in a situation where you did not go out of your way to be nice to people. Of course, I do not have any memories of disagreements over word choices from elementary school or anything like that to refer to! This is a great post with a good reminder for everyone. I am enjoying all of the Nickerson blogs!
ReplyDeleteI need to work on this a lot. We just get too caught up in our days and work and things we have to get done, that being nice just seems to be too much effort. Thank you for such a great lesson. What a great testimony to you and your mother!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you let the Jesus-in-you shine out through those little cracks in your clay pot which you allow us to see. Oh to be a crackpot like you! Come to think of it.......I am!
ReplyDeleteWhat a true reflection of Jesus...
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