This week marks the anniversary of one of my favorite days in all of history after the Resurrection: the day Felicity was born.
I won't tell you how old she is, but I will tell you I've come to an amazing realization: Our daughters are not girls anymore.
I remember when Felicity was fifteen and I had the strangest sensation that I was really only about eighteen myself. I would seriously get up in the middle of the night, walk into the kitchen for a drink of water and think, Where did I get this huge house? How can I possibly have four teenagers sleeping upstairs? It was like deja vu only backwards. I would just hit these surreal moments now and then when the whole thing seemed totally unbelievable. Lovely, but unreal.
The sensation has changed some through the years. I don't see our daughters as girls anymore, and I feel more like thirty-four instead of eighteen. I think the grandsons did it. Even after the girls married and started having sweet little babies, they were still "the girls." But I realized this week it is impossible for someone to be a girl and also be the mother of a son who can make his own basketball bracket for March Madness.
Felicity is a grown-up. So is Serenity, of course. Her eldest son can look me in the eye without standing on tip-toe. Fortunately, Charity is still hovering on the line for me since her baby is still tiny and can be considered almost a fashion accessory some days. (that is Charity's line, not mine.)
When Felicity was born, I was immediately enthralled. The first three months of her life, I mostly sat in the rocking chair and stared at her in awe. I was so amazed by this creature who could take my breath away just by flicking her eye or making a soft sound. But Felicity is an adult now, and, evidently I am not really thirty-four. Some things don't change, though. I walked into a room yesterday and saw her sitting at a table with a group of her colleagues.
And she took my breath away.
She is quite amazing! You don't have to list the age for me. I will be there soon enough. Happy Birthday LIC!
ReplyDeleteKath, that made me cry! You are such a wonderful mom and have produced wonderful children. I saw this video this morning and it made me think of you! http://tinyurl.com/d5kuzo
ReplyDeleteFirst I must say welcome! I was so excited when I read on Serenity's blog that you too had joined the blogging world!
ReplyDeleteSecond, you and your daughters inspire me. Your words (and when I read their words)... they are so thought-provoking and faith-filled. Thank you... for all you say and are going to say.
Finally, I'm so glad God & the White's introduced me to you and your wonderful family!
Thank you! Oh, how I relate to the "surrealness" (is that even a word?) of the aging process. I was looking at my hands the other day, and said to Paul "How did these hands get so old, when I don't feel a day over thirty?" :)
ReplyDeleteThere have been so many times that I have felt like I have "grown up" with my children.
What grace it is that God would bless us with the most amazing treasures. Treasures that will, for the duration of our lives, take our breath away.
Oh, and Happy Birthday Felicity!
Dorothea
Thank you, thank you! My girls were giggling with glee when I saw them at the school a few minutes ago. Apparently they have a small surprise for me hiding in their room and "it might have a piece of red candy in it!" This is the good stuff!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, it's your October 17th! I adore the anniversary of my motherhood, so I know exactly how you feel. Except I was thinking we'd start counting again when the youngest hits eighteen and start having the anniversary of our freedom. Wait - that's not me. That's Michael talking!
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I saw Felicity -- I don't know how old she was, but she was leading a group of pastor's and their wives in worship, and I was struck by her vibrancy and passionate worship! Little did I know she would become my first daughter-in-law! What a treasure she is to my life!
ReplyDeleteKathy, I would also have to say I think you are a fantastic mother and have raised such amazing children - now adults! You may not be 34, but you are a woman of great wisdom and I am glad to call you my friend!
Aww that is so sweet. I remember the first few moments/days/weeks of holding my daughter (she's the oldest) and thinking too that it was an amazing dream and my heart would skip beats just looking at her coo.
ReplyDeleteI still feel like I'm playing house...but my children are just tots still. I can't even imagine conversations with my children that are fully engaged topics on current events. lol. That is a bizarre thought.
Felicity took my breath away when she led the Nickerson clan in praise songs at Christina's funeral. You expect your nieces to stay cute, but she added "skilled and confident leader" to that picture then and all your kids have demonstrated since that they are grace gifts from God. Thirty-four is over-rated. When you have the joy in eternity of watching the procession of children both of faith and of flesh get their first heavenly hug from Jesus when they arrive there...well, don't you imagine that the best will just get better with each surprised sigh of joy?
ReplyDeleteHow sweet! I agree. When Vanita turned 30, it bothered me more than it did her. I didn't think I could possibly have a 30-year-old child! Valerie and Vanita are still "the girls" to their father and I!
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